silver-afternoons:

I fell from a stranger’s bed
my bones creak
the bed
the floor
the house
they all creak
I am wondering how empty this home has become
and my thoughts echo 
answers reverberate back to me

The boy lying restless in the moonlight
is a corpse dragged
by the currents made from blue whales
he is a speck of dust
on the great pale blue dot
tumbling throughout infinity

Suddenly he is nothing

Suddenly he is everything

Awesome

201 notes 

silver-afternoons:

i. Most men want to survive forever
so afraid their names might die out
so ready to defy the plans written in cosmic dust
fill me up with plastic they say
dump me in a landfill
I am eternal, I am a boundless being
even stars die out, I tell them
but they have turned their gaze elsewhere

ii. I…

This is awesome

204 notes 

All Treasure Is Dead

Folks
I know this now
Pushing waves aside with hocus pocus pride
I found shipwrecks among the ocean’s ground
Some find solace there
And between the men who failed and the few who return, they forget that
All treasure is dead

I’ve never sailed before
But I’ve read,
That you can ride on a single gust further than where you’ve been
I’ve been searching for bread
Something to fill a grave yard’s stomach
Cause she’s been crying all night and whimpering while I lie careless in my bed

Given yearly reports to show my earnings
I’ll take the envelope instead
Fold it into airport objects
Can’t seem to get the wings right
Can’t seem to get distance
Crashing to the ground now but I have a parachute head
I must, for I’ve been watching my own death come slowly
It’s so long I said,
If Jesus wants me he’ll have to come show me

3 notes 

Raw

Drug abuse is a substance best served raw
Up and inside is a lie
Million little fibers, moon landing
Like, do not believe me when I tell you I am only lying on this floor looking for more particles
Like a spaceship needing more energy to be lifted off this ground
I am reaching for skies like pollution and balloons and stars that fell
They say glaciers can move miles given the right amount of time
I’m just wondering why all of a sudden you’re so distant, cold
And I so numb
While this floor riddles me with songs that echo memories in convulsions
Like, give me sorrow in a bottle bottomless
Give me answers I should not know
Oh well, every floor has its end
And I’ve been sinking from behind it
And when I try to rise
It’s quickly disguised as tricky-little whiskey lullabies
How I wish for lover’s eyes
But I speak too loudly
So they whisper bye, bye
Butterfly colors too beautiful kept inside
But look, so horrifying on the floor
I’m looking for more I said,
Bring me my paint set
Bring me passions I once dreamed that coat weary heads on reckless days
It doesn’t stick to me anymore anyways
Wish I had that rubber back when the other kids mentioned my weight
And the glue drenched my innocence
Like little dresses and messes and you
Will you bring me the relief I need to color in these pieces?
I’ve pictured it like the visions of dying habits jailed to photographs that didn’t develop in time
And when you find your rock bottom, she said,
Come help me look for mine
And I’m still looking
Like nazi parachutes over London
Making heated conversations with skies
That’s about when I started asking them
Why doesn’t rock bottom mean that you’ve quit?
They said, it only means you’re willing to not die
Then why am I not desperate to live?
Combat brain cells till dormant to forget things when I was a kid
Who am I kidding?
How will I know?
So then I lived on four wheels for five months
And thought about suicide 6 times every time it snowed
And 7 days a week I went to see the same Starbucks on Main Street to brush my teeth
And maybe it was just me
But I’m pretty sure most people were so preoccupied with their own caffeinated lives to notice the missing food off their plates when they got up to leave
Still I tried so hard to be discrete
Then not to be
So I founded eight pillars to weigh my problems against the problems of others in order to justify god to me
And they go;
Jealousy, envy,
The food when you have plenty,
Where do you get to go when your heart feels heavy,
And the light outside starts fading,
Do you fall asleep saved, or wake up feeling wasted?
Whoa, wait a minute
Don’t I feel stripped to my basics?
Sneaking in their house and slipping down to the basement
Conversed with nine, no, ten different demons
Dressed in their Sunday best
Don’t you see them!?
Don’t you see them!?
They kept telling me to walk barefoot
Higher than wire trapeze
Following street lines like a tight rope But never lead me to a place to be without a nose bleed
Sat still like statues
Can’t change your hand like stale cards, they said
Until the moment that you have to
When there is no other choice
That’s when there appeared eleven holes on my belt after I added two
And on the 12th,
It was confiscated
So I wouldn’t sway in the breeze like strange fruit on the poplar trees
-On the poplar trees-
See I sat too long without realizing I wasn’t a statue
Breath of life swept through me
And I came to life like toys in a story movie

3 notes 

Mark

I found mark under a tree
He was slow to get up
Slow to get going
But when he was in motion he moved like a gliding fist chasing anger away
See, mark missed the person he loved the most
I think she died from complications
We didn’t talk about his life much
We were just puzzled like multiplications
And left on this street by ourselves
Still Mark took me in with no justification

We would drive around aimlessly
Weaving through lanes like they were staff lines on highway sheet music
And through struggled days we would compose pieces
I was always too good at playing sad notes
Mark could always sense the tension as I stressed out sharps while he rarely hit a flat

Mark would take me to work
And pick me up like an infant who couldn’t get his balance right
And at night he would sleep patiently
While I talked with the moon, the stars about all the wrongs in my life
I became oblivious to his conscience
I took for granted the very granite he would travel for me
Mark watched me dive head first
Anxious but alert
Sat back while I wrestled my demons
And when I was too exhausted he would drive me to pick up more happy feelings
Mark didn’t judge me
Just judged distance

2 notes 

“Sorry For Us Boys” Capo 4

Well, I’m sorry for us boys
We like to say we never saw this coming
She saw light before he moved in
It got dim when he’d drink
She washed it all off with sin

Well, I’m sorry for us boys

Well, I’m sorry for us boys
We like to say we never were quite taught
But oh, we do it all again
Why does he do it all again?
When you can’t close your eyes at night
When you wake up today paranoid

Well, I’m sorry for us boys

Oh I want
To take away the pain for you
And reach into your emptiness, But I know
Fairytales we read ain’t true
No not anymore,
But why does he throw me away?
Like toys?
Well, I’m sorry for us boys

Well, I’m sorry for everything
I like to think I tried as hard as I could
But no, that’s a lie and she knew it
Couldn’t take the shame and so she took her life
Now she’s just dirt and her stone reads
Here lies a Broken Joy
Well, I’m sorry for us boys

1 note 

Old friends… New beginnings

Old friends… New beginnings

I ran away once when I was young
I packed my bags and headed on the last train south from the top bunk of my bed but I returned by that afternoon
And that was the first time I got high when I was five from the flu
I hallucinated multiple technicolored cartoon fish saying,
“This world has nothing here for you”

I thought about this for a time
And by the time I was nine I had forgotten how to fly
I traded it in for video games that taught me the different ways that people could die

1 note 

#SpeedStickGear Deodorant

I recently obtained the new SpeedStickGEAR courtesy of influenster and have been using it for almost two weeks. I have to admit, out of the box I was not impressed with its initial scent. It seemed underpowered, but then I remembered that’s normally what goes wrong with deodorants; they’re overpowering. So I gave it it’s proper test and am very glad I did. Melds perfectly with other fragrance sprays and colognes I use and provides the sweat protection I need. I’m not regretting this test and if you’re looking to try a new deodorant, give this one a try!

She wrote me stories on her arms
But they weren’t very good ones
They were full of apologies and run-ons
I always tried to cut them short
And I read them after I was all packed up and left
-I can disappear into woodwork-
Then reappear like all your fears you were taught could hurt
Oh, Don’t you do it
No, Don’t you listen
To that far-fetched poet who did one too many lines in his kitchen
Oh it’s a sickness, ya know?
Wishing to feel different?
She wished I would give in
I told her,
Life has its way of making eulogies out of such childish inhibitions
She told me symphonies with her fingertips
And single little lips
And when I saw the voices for what they were
They began speaking to me different
She’d tell me
Ya know, you really should take some time to breathe every minute
But even just breathing can fog stained glass
-I have a strange past-
I keep my face masked
Walk with my legs fast
I’ve come jaded
Won’t you dance for me?
Why would you dance for me?
And tell me things?
I’ve heard whispers from walls that tell me things
I’d rather my eyes see the things that frighten me
Like bumps in the night
I’d rather you sleep
Cause I stay up and wonder,
I’d rather I’d be awake with regret
Awake and a mess
Awake and a wreck
Awake than to sleep till sunlight
And have to wake and start this again
Rather I see my end coming this time
Because the ends
My friends,
The ends justify the mean friends
Honey, I’ve seen a lot of mean, mean men
But worst of all
-I see me in them-
And you know their type
The kind that look sunny by day
But turn ugly like pits in your stomach at night?
Oh baby, you can’t bring me no comfort
You can’t handle the tension
Holding breaths for 30 seconds, release to find heaven
Then fall quick like angels walking away from god, like, “alright, fuck you then”
Just let me dive from ceilings
Head first for some more
I’ve got whore tendencies
She’s wants them so desperately
Darling, that isn’t the good you see in me
Still she took up a piece of my time like a music box
And it played sweet, sweet Georgia in the dead of night

1 note 

I’m seeing angels again
I’m tasting with a tongue that battles scars left from another savior’s crucifix
Weaving through a Jupiter whip
Leave wreckage in my dust
She asked me no more for affection
I left her jumbled thoughts on recorded messengers
Shoot them where they must
I have a place of stand still too where I stand still and I rust
Now every time I move I leave a trail of jagged pieces like i want some way to return
To relive the things I’ve done
Just give me a morsel of time
Though I don’t fill up on those easy
You’ll find me back for more again
You’ll find me back
You’ll find me

1 note 

Christmas Motes

Christmas Motes

Only loves

She only loves me when she’s drunk
Only stays until the sun comes up
That’s when she disappears
That’s when I am alone
That’s when all of these fears
Begin to wander home

She only gives until I take
Only bends until I break
And these leaves are changing
She only leaves insanity

Well all these faces that separate us
At this table I couldn’t tell
I was alone
But I know now
That I am stronger

(Chorus)

I gave it all away in good faith
Along with my mind a terrible thing to waste
Then everything changed
As I moved to better days
Moments of romance
I stumbled drunk into her embrace
Feel like I never lost anything at all

Such a surprise
Stomachs and butterflies
Stormy night sailing catching light from a sunrise
That’s when I see her face, still at my place
Waking with clear heads hand in hand through the snowflakes
Looking like a very good year so far

And all those faces I can remember
Are just faces on a wall
I have it all
And cause of this
I am stronger

(Chorus)

I just want you to know
Ever since those days
Everything has changed
I don’t envy you